GUEST BLOGGER: Sanctified to Glory
NOTE: I have invited the contributions of Stu Reimer to write in this space on the issues of marriage and family. If you follow CRC at all you will know Stu to be my frequent substitute in the pulpit and I am looking forward to his work as my substitute from time to time in this space. Expect his blogs to appear every 6 weeks or so.
Stu is no expert on the things on which I have asked him to write (Just ask his wife and children), but he is a committed reformed Christian and a committed husband and father. His opinions are his own, but I trust that reading his blogs will bring much wisdom and offer much practical value as we try to maintain biblical faithfulness in our families while navigating a strange and contrary world.
Now, on to Stu.
"Happy are they, who in the matter of marriage observe three rules. The first is to marry only in the Lord, and after prayer for God’s approval and blessing. The second is not to expect too much from their partners, and to remember that marriage is, after all, the union of two sinners, and not two angels. The third rule is to strive first and foremost for one another’s sanctification. The more holy married people are, the happier they are."
J C Ryle
I know it has been a few months since my last blog but for those who have followed me,
you know I have been working through different Reformed doctrines and trying to show how, when applied, they can greatly enrich our family life. The final one I would like to look at is the doctrine of sanctification. Using Question 75 of the Westminster Larger Catechism:
Sanctification is a work of God’s grace, whereby they whom God hath before the foundation of the world chosen to be holy, are in time through the powerful operation of His Spirit, applying the death and resurrection of Christ unto them, renewed in their whole man after the image of God; having the seeds of repentance unto life, and all other saving graces, put in their hearts, and those graces so stirred up, increased, and strengthened, as that they more and more die unto sin and rise unto newness of life.
Or, if you prefer a simpler definition, sanctification is growing more and more in
holiness. So important is the call to become sanctified, that for all the ink that has been spilled on knowing God’s will for our lives, the Bible lays it out very clear in 1 Thessalonians 4:3, "For this is the will of God, your sanctification.” If sanctification is so important to the Christian life, then we should not ignore the means God uses to help aid in the process. There may be no greater means He uses than joining two people in marriage.
If you remember from one of my earlier blogs covering the purpose of marriage, the answer is not our happiness but rather growing in holiness. For this is the will of God, your happiness? No! the Scripture says holiness. Moreover, our goal for our spouse in marriage should not be happiness but also holiness even if this may sometimes add tension when truth in love is spoken. This is why so many couples are stuck in a repeated cycle of despair because their expectations of marital bliss are unmet, and they are left thinking this is not what they signed up for. Marriage was supposed to make life easier and always cheerier.
Now, when you take two spouses who realize both they and their partner are sinners and both walk in forgiveness and repentance, they find joy in their marriage through both good times and hard. They see the blessed work of the Spirit in both their lives. It is this Scriptural understanding of God’s will of sanctification that allows someone in the middle of marital frustration to find joy because they know that they will come out the better for it. The secular mind sees the life of a bachelor being one free from difficulty and burdens. The Christ centered mind, sees bachelorhood as a lost opportunity to be refined by the gospel. It is this understanding that allows someone to not look back in shame and regret over past sins but praise God for His providence using all things for His, and our, good. If marriage was one free ride, devoid of any difficulty, one would be robbed of the opportunity to have their sinful tendencies revealed and in turn defeated. For how many of us, was it only after we got married that we realized we had struggles with anger, impatience, dishonesty, or discontentment. In an ironic twist, those who
pursue only happiness in marriage will never truly find it. Yet, those who pursue growth in holiness will not only achieve that, but they will also be rewarded with joy and contentment.
The truth is, here on earth perfection will never be achieved, but through years of marriage, those committed to allowing the Spirit to reveal their sin and likewise aid them in mortifying it, will be blessed with the joy of becoming more like their Savior Jesus Christ. Moreover, we must not limit God’s grace only to our justification. His grace is also applied in our sanctification. When we wrestle with guilt and defeat from our own sinfulness, be comforted that the Spirit has been sent to help us overcome these failings. “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ”. (Philippians 1:6)
Let God use our marriages to bring us closer to that completion with each passing day.
