We ended our last blog with this statement…
God has been, is, and always will be a forgiving God. He offers us forgiveness for sin full and free in Jesus Christ. Whenever we sin, he forgives. No questions asked no exceptions. For us to forgive, then, is to reflect his nature, and submit to his will.
We read about this exact thing in many places in Scripture. Here is just one -- “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32)
Statements like this elevate the importance of forgiveness because it tells us that we are to model our forgiveness of others after God’s own forgiveness of us in Jesus. A truly tall task.
There are certain behaviours that are not in keeping with a kind, tenderhearted, and forgiving spirit. These, among others, are listed in the previous verse -- bitterness, wrath, anger, quarreling , slander, and malice. These, Paul says, must “be put away from you.” These are all things that are contrary to the new life we are given in Christ and by the Holy Spirit because they are part of the “old self which belongs to your former manner of life [which is] corrupt through deceitful desires.” (Ephesians 4:22)
Instead we need to “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another.” These things are evidence of Christlikeness and a “new self” that reflects the “true righteousness and holiness” (Ephesians 4:24) of our Creator. The phrase I want to focus on is the last one and its reasoning.
We are to “forgive one another, as Christ forgave [us].” The tense of the participle stresses that this is to be a continual practice for the Christian. Which makes sense. Since people will always wrong us in one way or another in this fallen world we must always be willing to forgive them. Simply put, “because believers have freely received grace from God through the sacrificial work of Christ, they are called likewise to show grace and forgive others who have wronged them.”
But before we get too far, let’s offer a definition -- what is forgiveness? Without dragging out a long theological definition we can say that forgiveness in Scripture is a release or dismissal or putting away of something. It applies to offences that are usually sinful or are at least large enough to disrupt a relationship. It means that when we are wronged we keep no record and forgive as many times as we are wronged. Forgiveness also requires a willingness to offer the offender the opportunity to reconcile with us, to regain our trust, and to develop a renewed (though no doubt altered) relationship with us. Forgiveness does not allow us to seek vengeance, to make them pay for what they have done to us. Nor does it allow us to despise or hate the wrongdoer. John is pretty clear on these things, “If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.” (1 John 4:20-21)
Forgiveness is not the same thing as pardon or forbearance or reconciliation. Pardon means we are able to remove the consequences of the wrong against us, which we will never be able to do. Forbearance is choosing to overlook a wrong done to us. It is choosing love over resentment. It is letting go of something and moving on. Reconciliation only comes if the person who wrongs us is willing to repent of their wrong doing, to seek forgiveness, and becomes willing to overcome that wrongdoing and rebuild the relationship.
I like Tim Keller’s explanation of what forgiveness looks like. He explains that forgiving someone involves making three practical commitments. When you forgive:
You promise not to to constantly bring the sin up to the wrongdoer in order to punish them;
You promise not to constantly bring the sin up to other people in order to hurt the wrongdoer’s reputation and relationship with others;
You promise not to constantly bring up the sin to yourself -- not to keep the anger forefront in your mind or replay it over and over.
Obviously to forgive costs us greatly. Which should not come as a shock. Since it cost God his own Son in order to forgive us we should expect some personal cost in forgiving others. This is the point of the last phrase of Ephesians 4:32 -- we are to forgive in the same manner as Christ’s forgiveness has been given to us. Christ is the perfect example of what forgiveness looks like. His declaration on the cross, “Father forgive them,” directed to the same people who had cried out “crucify him,” encapsulates exactly the nature of forgiveness. On the cross Christ died for us while we were yet sinners, still his enemies, still in rebellion against him. He continues to forgive us even though we neglect and abuse his grace and continue to sin against him and rebel against his word.
This is what we are called to do.
Obviously forgiveness runs counter to our “old self,” to our sinful human nature. Which means that a lack of willingness to forgive demonstrates a spiritual problem within us. One that creates issues, to put it lightly, between us and God which he takes very seriously. We will explore these things in a later blog.
In simple terms, in order to truly forgive others our hearts must be reordered, renewed, by the forgiveness of God in Christ. We must grasp our forgiveness and the love of God given to us in Christ before we can truly forgive. We can only offer forgiveness truly and completely when we find new life in him. (cf Ephesians 4:22-24; 5:1-2)
Soli Deo Gloria